The Real Rory Book List: Season Three

The Gilmore Girls Library was incredibly helpful in finding some of these, and at unconvering books that weren't on the master list.

SEASON THREE

Those Lazy-Hazy-Crazy Days (3.1)

• A Bolt From The Blue and Other Essays, Mary McCarthy

• Pomeranian: An Owner’s Guide to a Happy Healthy Pet, Happeth A. Jones – Why...?

• The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, Rebecca Wells

RORY: Eventually, maybe, but for now – solidarity sister. LORELAI: Ya ya!

The Haunted Leg (3.2)

• A Confederacy of Dunces, John Kennedy Toole

• Freaky Friday, Mary Rodgers

LORELAI: My life stinks. Hey, let’s look into each other’s eyes and say "I wish I were you" at exactly the same time – maybe we’ll pull a Freaky Friday!

• Goldilocks and the Three Bears, Alvin Granowsky – Francie calls Rory "Goldilocks" even though she's a brunette.

FRANCIE: Wise up, Goldilocks.

RORY: My hair’s brown.Shane, Jack Shaefer

• The Godfather: Book 1 by Mario Puzo

• The Legend of Bagger Vance, Steven Pressfield – Watching this is why Lorelai fell asleep.

Application Anxiety (3.3)

• Leo Tolstoy

RORY: I read a lot. I’m into the Russians lately.

DARREN: Tolstoy, Turgenev?

RORY: Gogol is my thing right now – Dead Souls.

• Dead Souls, Nikolai Vasilevich Gogol

RORY: Oh, geez. Let the record show that when my application to Harvard arrived, we were watching "The Brady Bunch Variety Hour." LORELAI: You don’t lose points for that, do you? RORY: I hope not. Man, this morning I was reading Dead Souls – it couldn’t have come then? LORELAI: Well, we’ll just tell people that’s what you were doing, and that I was studying a really big globe. They’ll never know. RORY: You can keep a secret? LORELAI: Not so far, but there’s always a first. RORY: Dead Souls and a really big globe.

• Fiddler of the Roof, Joesph Stein –

• Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone: Harry Potter - Book 1, J. K. Rowling

RORY: I’ve dreamt of going to Harvard since I was a little girl. CAROL: Yeah, a lot of four year olds dream of that. It comes right after meeting Harry Potter.

• Henry IV, Part 1, Henry IV, Part 2, Henry V, Macbeth, The Merry Wives of Windsor, William Shakespeare

DARREN: "One fell swoop", interesting phrase. JACK: Very. DARREN: Origin? JACK: It was coined in MacBeth and derives from Middle English. DARREN: Very good, son. You know your Shakespeare then, do you? JACK: More than most. DARREN: In which play does Falstaff appear? JACK: That would be plays. DARREN: Mm. JACK: Henry the Fourth, part one and two, and The Merry Wives of Windsor. DARREN: So that was a different Falstaff than Henry the Fifth? JACK: Aw, shoot! DARREN: This is a little tradition with us, quizzes at meals. It keeps the Springsteens sharp. LORELAI: Very Kennedy-esque.

• Sylvia Plath – The list mentions The Bell Jar and her Journals again, but there's no indication that this reference was about that particular work, just the author.

LORELAI: Or you can write about a person who has had a significant influence on you. RORY: You? LORELAI: Or one of your authors, Faulkner or. . . RORY: Or Sylvia Plath. LORELAI: Hm, might send the wrong message. RORY: The sticking her head in the oven thing? LORELAI: Yeah. Although she did make her kids a snack first, shows a certain maternal instinct.

• The Manticore, Robertson Davies – Read or referenced?

DARREN: Open question – which mythological figure has the head of a man, the body of a lion, and the tail of a scorpion? Here’s a hint – it’s also the title of a novel by Robertson Davies.

RORY: Oh, Manticore.

DARREN: Very good, Rory.

JACK: Yes, very good, Rory.

JENNIFER: Yes, very good, Rory.

One's Got Class and the Other One Dyes (3.4)

• The Wizard of Oz, L. Frank Baum –

• To Kill A Mockingbird, Harper Lee – ?

• We Owe You Nothing- Punk Planet: the Collected Interviews, Daniel Sinker – The book Jess is reading at the beginning and end of the episode.

Eight O'Clock at the Oasis (3.5)

• Marathon Man, William Goldman – Lorelai describes her date with Payton: "We were both in pain – deep pain, Marathon Man kind of pain."

• The Wizard of Oz, L. Frank Baum

RORY: ‘First of all, thank you for this very kind favor you’re doing me. I still can’t believe that any one person would be so kind to someone they just met.’

LORELAI: Yeah, apparently Dwight’s last home was Oz, and not as in ‘The Wizard Of.’

• Visions of Cody, Jack Kerouac – Not on the list.

• Letters of Ayn Rand (ed. Michael S. Berliner) – Not on the list either.

Take The Deviled Eggs... (3.6)

• Deenie, Judy Blume

SHERRY: You have to give me your list of books, okay? LORELAI: Books? SHERRY: The ones that you read when you had Rory. LORELAI: Oh, I see. Um, I think I was reading "Deenie" at the time. . .

• The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, Tom Woolf

TAYLOR: This is hardly a goody, young lady. [to police officer] Are you locked and loaded, Officer? OFFICER: I’m a tiger ready to pounce, Taylor. LUKE: What’s with having the law here, Taylor? BABETTE: Yeah, Taylor, this protest is gonna be very mellow, very peaceful. TAYLOR: Well, you can hang out in Haight-Ashbury and drink as much electric Kool-Aid as you want, Babette, but I’m preparing for the worst.

• To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee

LORELAI: The town loner? LUKE: That guy still lives around here? BABETTE: Somewhere in the hills, right? LUKE: I thought he was long gone. ANDREW: No, he came into the bookstore a couple times last month, never said a word. MISS PATTY: He’s a bit creepy. TAYLOR: Very creepy. LORELAI: But he’s our Boo Radley, and we don’t have a Boo Radley, unless you count the troubadour or Pete the pizza guy or the guy who talks to mailboxes. RORY: Well, I think the point is that every town needs as many Boo Radleys as they can get.

They Shoot Gilmores, Don't They? (3.7)

• A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens – ?

• The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand – The book that Jess was reading at the dance?

Let The Games Begin (3.8)

• Charles Dickens – The listmakers want us to read Great Expectations, A Tale of Two Cities, and Oliver Twist just because Dickens is referenced once.

LORELAI: What’s he so excited about? EMILY: Oh, who knows? Dickens must have dropped a pencil here at some point.

• Love Story, Erich Segal

LORELAI: You know what, I’ve spent a lot of time and energy fighting the whole Jess thing. Rory’s made her choice, I want her to be happy. I’m just hoping for the best at this point. LUKE: Very romantic. LORELAI: Says the man who yelled "Finally!" at the end of Love Story.

• Romeo and Juliet, William Shakespeare –

• The Sound and the Fury, William Faulkner –

• The Wizard of Oz, L. Frank Baum –

A Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving (3.9)

• How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Dr. Seuss – When the Gilmores turn down Thanksgiving at Luke's:

LORELAI: Um, okay, I may be crazy, but he almost looked. . . . RORY: Disappointed. LORELAI: Yes, disappointed. We disappointed Luke. RORY: I didn’t think it was possible. LORELAI: Our powers are greater than we know. RORY: He actually likes it when we come for Thanksgiving. All these years and we never knew. LORELAI: Hm, he’s the Grinch and we’re Cindy Lou Who.

• The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Victor Hugo

LORELAI: What’s wrong?

SOOKIE: What’s wrong? Uh, do you not see what’s going on here? LORELAI: What’s that? SOOKIE: That is a vat of boiling oil. LORELAI: Really? Where’s Quasimodo? SOOKIE: This is not a joking matter. RORY: What is the oil for? LORELAI: For pouring on visigoths. SOOKIE: Lorelai! LORELAI: When else am I gonna get to use my visigoth material?

That'll Do, Pig (3.10)

• Archidamian War, Donald Kagan – ?

• Babe, Dick King- Smith – Lorelai speaks the episode's title when Emily takes her advice to be amused when Richard's mother gives her a hard time.

• Gidget, Frederick Kohner

RORY: What is wrong with you? So what if Paris has a boyfriend? You don’t think that as hard as Paris works in school or on the Franklin or on student council - you don’t think that she deserves to have a boyfriend and to enjoy it? FRANCIE: Hey, no one is denying Gidget a chance to snag Moondoggie for the clambake, but the rest of us have things to accomplish.

• Stuart Little, E. B. White

RORY: How’s everybody doing? CLARA: Jess can’t throw. JESS: I can, too. CLARA: You missed every time. JESS: I can’t concentrate with your annoying midget voice yammering on and on. It’s like having Stuart Little shoved in my ear.

• The Art of War, Sun Tzu

RORY: I tried to intervene, I tried to smooth the path between both sides, but you know what? That’s over. FRANCIE: Oh, it is? RORY: Yes, it is. I’m finished being your go-between. You’re a jerk, and if you wanna play it this way, then fine. All bets are off. I’m no longer your ally. You wanna play rough – fine. I’ve read The Art of War. I can be just as big a pain in your butt as you are in Paris’, capiche?

• The Fall of the Athenian Empire, Donald Kagan – ?

• The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Victor Hugo – ?

• The Outbreak of the Peloponnesian War, Donald Kagan – Probably read by Richard.

RICHARD: Oh, I must say, I am a very spoiled man. Chuck Berry, and the complete history of the Peloponnesian War. LORELAI: Well, sure, ‘cause a partial history would skip all the dirty stuff. RICHARD: I especially like the way you wrapped the books in a bow tie. It’s very, very clever.

• The Peace of Nicias and the Sicilian Expedition, Donald Kagan – ?

I Solemnly Swear (3.11)

• Eloise, Kay Thompson

PARIS: Have you looked over the votes for commencement speaker? RORY: Yeah. PARIS: Are the ones for Princess Diana’s butler jokes or real? RORY: I’d say jokes. PARIS: What about the ones for Dr. Phil? RORY: I think real. PARIS: I knew that suggestion box was a bad idea. Watch Choate get Joan Didion while we’re being read "Eloise at the Plaza."

• Julius Caesar, William Shakespeare – When Paris thinks Rory has betrayed her:

RORY: We haven’t. We met once. PARIS: Aha, you admit it. RORY: Yes, but it wasn’t what you think. PARIS: Brutus!

• Mutiny On The Bounty, Charles Nordhoff and James Norman Hall –

• The Great Gatsby, F.Scott Fitzgerald

LORELAI: He’s liked you for ten years? SOOKIE: Yes. LORELAI: Wow. That is some serious Great Gatsby pining.

• The Diary of Virginia Woolf, Volume 4: 1931-1935 (ed. Anne Olivier Bell) – Not on the list –

Lorelai Out Of Water (3.12)

• Macbeth, William Shakespeare

LORELAI: I like him, but I’m not sixteen. I don’t lie to guys to make them like me. I just got stuck when he said fishing and camping, and I was trying to be nice and not say, "Fishing? Great – cold, wet, and smelly. My three favorite things after those witches from Macbeth."

Dear Richard and Emily (3.13)

• The Divine Comedy, volume 1: Inferno, Dante – Not on the list for this episode.

• Moby Dick, Herman Melville

JESS: It’s been four hours. Go home. KIRK: It’s boring at home. My TV’s broken. JESS: So do something else. KIRK: Like what? JESS: Read a book. KIRK: What book? JESS: Any book. KIRK: I’m gonna need a suggestion. JESS: Moby Dick. KIRK: That’s about the whale? JESS: Yes. KIRK: No. What else? JESS: Forget it, just sit there. KIRK: Okay.

• Hidden Romantic Gems of the Restaurant World (possibly a fictional text)

• Myra Waldo's Travel and Motoring Guide to Europe, 1978, Myra Waldo – Causes Lorelai to reminisce about when she read these as a girl when she and Christopher were planning their overseas future.

• Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By In America, Barbara Ehrenreich

• Selected Hotels of Europe –

• Europe Through the Back Door, 2003, Rick Steves; The Rough Guide to Europe, 2003 Edition

Swan Song (3.14)

• Encyclopedia Brown: Boy Detective, Donald J. Sobol

RORY: What are you doing here? LORELAI: I came up for a book. JESS: A book? LORELAI: Yeah. JESS: Got a lot of books here. Anything in particular? LORELAI: It’s one of Luke’s. JESS: Well, if it doesn’t have Encyclopedia Brown in the title, that narrows it down a lot.

• Gone With The Wind, Margaret Mitchell

[Lorelai is lying on the couch, Rory walks in with the takeout] RORY: Mom? LORELAI: Hm? Is that you, Rhett?

• The Fellowship Of The Ring: Lord Of The Ring - Book 1, J.R.R. Tolkien – Why does this book keep appearing on the list when they're only referencing the movie?

RORY: Good. Hey, it’s still early. Do you wanna watch more of the extra supplementary stuff on the Lord of the Rings DVD? LORELAI: Well, it’s just the drawings and that fat guy talking.

• The Holy Barbarians, Lawrence Lipton

[Rory and Jess are sitting on a bench looking at a book] RORY: Do you love it? JESS: It’s great. RORY: The Holy Barbarians. I mean, what a title. And it’s by a Venice Beach beatnik about Venice Beach beatniks, and to top it off, the beatnik who wrote it is the father of the guy that does those Actor’s Studio interviews on TV. JESS: The guy with the beard? RORY: Yeah, the pointy beard. That’s his dad writing at his desk. JESS: Oh, it’s weird that a weird beatnik-y guy would have a conservative son like that. RORY: Maybe he’s not that conservative. Maybe at night, he, like, takes off his clothes and parties. JESS: Aw, man, now get that picture out of my head. RORY: It’s a cool book, you’ve gotta admit. JESS: It is. Thanks.

• Walt Disney's Bambi (Based on Original Story by Felix Salten) – Not even a reference to the book, not even a reference to the movie, but a reference to the character...I tell ya...this listmaker...

[Luke and Jess are in a rowboat in the middle of the lake] LUKE: I don’t see a swan. JESS: Put your oars down. LUKE: They don’t like oars? JESS: Just lay low, it’ll come. LUKE: Does it act all peaceful and Bambi-like and then suddenly attack like the rabbit in Monty Python?

Face-Off (3.15)

• Backlash: The Undeclared War Against American Women. Susan Faludi

LORELAI: He was an exceptional first boyfriend, and you got spoiled. Most of us didn’t have first boyfriends like Dean. Most of us had first boyfriends like Brian Hutchins. RORY: Brian Hutchins? LORELAI: Seventh grade, I’m sitting in the library, walks up, asks me to go steady. I say yes. He walks away and I don’t see him again until the tenth grade when he tries to sell me a dimebag at the Sadies Hawkins Day dance. And he was way overcharging for it, too. RORY: That’s demented. LORELAI: Well, that’s what most of us had to put up with. Where do you think the Susan Faludi’s of the world came from?

• Moliere: A Biography, Hobart Chatfield Taylor

RICHARD: Oh, we could get matching jogging suits. Oh, if only I could’ve seen Emily hiding in the bushes. It’s like a play by Moliere.

• Othello, Shakespeare

LANE: I’ve never made a guy jealous before. I feel so powerful. RORY: Just remember, there’s cute jealous and there’s Othello. LANE: Good point.

• Mark Twain – The list mentions Huck Finn and The Jumping Frog again, but Rory only references the author.

RORY: Absolutely. I mean, she’s cute and smart and really nice.

DEAN: I know.

RORY: Like once, in fourth grade, we went on a field trip to Mark Twain’s house, and I really wanted this refrigerator magnet in the shape of Mark Twain’s head, but I didn’t have any money, so she bought it for me, and she wouldn’t even let me pay her back. Pretty classy for a fourth grader.

• Hockey for Dummies, John Davidson – Not on the list, but here it is.

The Big One (3.16)

• I'm With the Band, Pamela Des Barres; Juliet Barker, The Brontës (1st ed.) – The latter was not on the list, but here are the Gilmores reding their books.

Tales of Poes and Fire (3.17)

• "The Raven", Edgar Allan Poe – Clearly.

Say Goodnight, Gracie (3.20)

• Eleanor Roosevelt, Blanche Wiesen Cook

• ​One Hundred Years of Solitude, Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Pinocchio, Those are Strings (3.22)

• Pinocchio, Carlo Collodi –

Here Comes the Son (321)

• Basic Writings of Nietzsche

• ​Naked Lunch: The Restored Text, William S. Burroughs – We won't know if Jess actually buys this and reads it, but there was a reason the writers or the actor put it in his hands at this moment...